It is officially the beginning of a new calendar year, 2020. This past decade has been extremely reflective. I have struggled with my identity on multiple occasions. Being tugged between who I know I am and who others want me to be; struggling with expressing my authentic self while trying to please others and live up to their expectations.
I have learned so much this past decade. 2020, for me is the year to apply the knowledge I have gained this past decade. It is one thing to know, to be given the formula; but, it is an entirely different thing to apply it and do. I struggled for years worrying about what other people thought. I gave permission to several people to have a certain level of control in my life; allowing them to make decisions for me. This caused me to stay in my head for years, dreaming of what I wanted my life to be like.
I stayed in my head, overthinking just about everything while remaining in the same place repeating the same cycle. There comes a point in your life, where you wake up and realize that something is not quite right. Why is that I am facing the same obstacles over and over? Why am I making the same decisions over and over? Why do I continue to think the same way? Why do I keep repeating the same cycles? Funny thing is, I would look for an answer outside of myself, because I have always looked outside of myself…
Near the end of this past decade I have learned to face MYSELF. To look within. To take control. Although beginnings often symbolize the end of somethings, I am welcoming it. Even if it means the end of negative thought patterns. Even if it means my comfort zone or what I thought was my foundation collapsing. Even if it means separation in particular relationships, understanding that some are only for a season. Even if it means me facing my greatest fears. I welcome it.
Here’s to END of comfortable cycles, comfort zones, allowing particular thoughts, fear or relationships to hinder progress, overthinking, and sigh, putting myself last something I have been doing for years unknowingly; more on that later. Here’s to the end of all of the above and the beginning of simply flowing.
Photos of Myself The Past Decade
Happy New Year
ALL PRAISES TO THE MOST HIGH!
© A Girl Simply Flowing